A few thoughts on the significance of today.

My mother has been dead for 15 years. Today. That I miss her beyond words does not begin to convey. I realize now that I was her hero, well her other hero besides her father.

Time has healed that wound but the scar is a noticable one, reminder to always strive to be, and accept only the best.
And time since has caused me to now understand how your world crumbled shattered, I am sorry I did not see it then.

The knack of numbers in my head force me to realize that 15 years has both begun and now ended on the first day of spring, inclusively. You always liked numbers, too, mom.

I wish , you know what I wish. That very strange day in 93, that part of the nightmare still is.
and it won't go away.

Tommorow is Crazy Wanda's 76th birthday, March 8th.

She used that fact to push me into a guilt-ridden series of errands for her, this morning.

She had learned that I was off work today, and through the weekend to make up a list of chores for me to perform, and to correct, regardless of the local snowcover, bad roads, or if I might have other things to do.

"I have a levelor-blind, that is stuck open, the cords are stuck" she announced at the luxurious hour of deep and dreamy sleepiness, 7:45 am.

"I don't know anything about Levelor Blinds, Wanda," I said sleepily. "Do you want me to take them apart, and make them draw down closed again?" I then asked.

"NOO!! I want some new blinds. They sell them at Atwoods (A regional department store), and I need you to come over and measure them, and go get me replacements," she barked.

That is all I remember of that first broadcast phonecall from her today.
I made the mistake of going back to sleep until 8:15 am., when she dialed me up again, more aggrivated this time...

"And I need some eye drops from the pharmacy. I called them. They told me the cost was $74.00 a bottle, but then they said that it was only $29.00 for the generic version. But that it would be a $50.00 delivery charge to bring them out here. I can't afford that, and they always send out the wrong medication, each time they come!" she bellowed.

I got out of my bed, and put on my clothes, and the snow-soaked boots from yesterday, and prepared to go to Talihina for her.

But at that point I remembered the toll free number to the Eye Clinic in Arkansas, where Wanda had her laser-surgery performed last week, so I called it, hoping to speak with a nurse or someone else, who would know her condition.

I dialed up the Eye Clinic, and eventually spoke with a nurse named 'Lee', or 'Leigh', who instantly knew who I was calling about: "Oh, yes, Wanda has been calling here constantly, since last evening. We sent her home with enough eye drops to last for a month, last week, sir" Leigh told me.

Evidently, Wanda has lost or misplaced her eyedrops,
as she has her false teeth,
and the 40-watt lightbulbs,
and the cash she got from the grocery store,
and her divorce papers,
and ......,
and....,
and.....

I confided to Leigh, that it was me, Wanda's closest friend and neighbor, who composed that letter to the 'Adult Protective Services' division of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services, advising them about her condition, and her deterioration lately.

"If you need to, have OkDHS call us, and ask for me.... I'll confirm everything," Leigh said to me, in a whisper.

Her whisper is significant, there. She knows. She knows what a struggle it will be,
for Wanda's sake and safety.

Wanda is a menace to herself, or to her home and safety, and to a lesser extent to me, her last friend. She makes my blood pressure sky-rocket in her presence; I hate being in her home, for it all smells like shit and death in there. I won't let her come inside my home anymore....

But for her birthday tomorrow, I bought her eyedrops, a lamp for her bathroom, a magnifying glass, more 40-watt lightbulbs, and a chocolate cake and card for her birthday.
When I delivered her many parcels to her, she began to tell me again about the 'stuck' Levelor Blind, and what to do with it, for her.

I told her that her one window's blinds was not my problem, and walked out, and drove home.

Priorities, priorities, priorities.

I composed the -THE letter to Ok. DHS today, regarding Crazy Wanda, asking them to hurry and intervene in her case.

Anonymously.

Is that pathetic or what? At least cowardly, for if that letter does not do it, she will know who wrote it, and then we'll all have serious hell to pay round here.

.......AS WANDA AND I VISITED THE TALIHINA POST OFFICE TOGETHER,
CHECKING OUR MAIL, I STOOD BEHIND HER, IN LINE,
HOLDING THE MANILLA ENVELOPE OF HER UNDOING.......