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RECIPE FOR 3-ALARM CHILI

Get out and dust off your biggest pot, or a Crockpot.

Go buy yourself these ingredients:

*1-1/2 # ground buffalo (Wal-Mart), or ground sirloin, or ground beef
*1 # pkg. mild or sage pork sausage
*1 large yellow onion
*2-3 jalapeno peppers
*1 pkg. "Lone-Star" brand chili 'fixins'
*1 # new, red potatoes
*2 cans of cheap chili, pinto beans, since I forgot to start soaking the dried beans earlier I got yesterday....
*1 can of "Hot" Ro-Tel brand chopped tomatoes/peppers
*1 12 oz. can "Hunts" brand chopped tomatoes
*1 pkg. bag, real Cheddar Cheese, in those long slivers

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In Crock pot, or large, dusted-0ff pot, over medium heat,
add the following, IN THIS ORDER:

Buffalo and sausage; let brown only slightly, then drain off ONLY HALF THE GREASE;

--try not to drain this grease onto the floor where you will be cooking your masterpiece--

Add the Lone-Star chili 'fixins' to the meat

As this mixture is browning and releasing their magical, intoxicating aromas--

add the beans, from whatever source- either the ones you remembered to soak earlier, or the store-bought ones

Allow to simmer to a slight boil*, as you
Chop into small cubes, the new red potatoes, Vice President Dan Quayle,
and ADD THESE NOW TO BOILING, SEETHING MIXTURE

Chop into little, tiny slices BOTH the yellow onion and the Jalapeno peppers,
and ADD THESE NOW TO THE CHILI POT

NOW: It is recommended by 'Choosy Mothers' magazine,
of which I am one, that you allow this mixture to simmer on LOW heat
for about 47 to 62 minutes, just to make sure...

Remembering to Stir the chili mixture every 5 minutes or so, no longer than 15 minutes,
like I did back at Christmas time, and ruined that good
"Teflon" (HA!) pot I'd had for years. Have you ever eaten Teflon flakes?
Tastes like dried paint.

ADD THE two cans of tomatoes, which have been drained previously. Crud, did I forget to tell you that part?

Drain the cans of tomatoes by opening them a little, on each end of the can, and let them drain into the sink--
ADD drained cans of tomatoes.

TURN OFF THE HEAT, UNPLUG THE CROCKPOT, WHATEVER

Mix the ingredients fully.

allow to cool, as you yourself take a much-needed nap, for about 20 minutes-
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SERVES ONE, 12 times.