Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.
A local sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy he's going to write the story and says, "I'll title it 'Young Sooner Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal'".
"But I'm not a Sooner fan", the little hero replies.
"Sorry, since we're in Oklahoma, I just assumed you were", says the reporter and he starts writing again. He asks "How does 'OSU Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack' sound?"
"I'm not an OSU fan either", the boy says.
"Wow, I thought everyone in Oklahoma was either for the Pokes or the Sooners. What team do you root for?", the reporter asks.
"I'm just visiting my cousin, I'm a Texas Longhorn fan!" the boy replies. "They're just the best!"
The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes:
"Little Longhorn Bastard From Texas Kills Beloved Family Pet".
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A first grade teacher in Austin, Tx, explains to her class that she is a Longhorn fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Longhorn fans.
Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl...
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, " Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Longhorn fan, " she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked "Well, if you are not a Longhorn fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am an Oklahoma Sooner fan!" Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, WHY are you a Sooner fan?"
"Because my Mom is a Sooner fan, my Dad is a Sooner fan, so I am a Sooner fan also."
"Well" said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be an Oklahoma Sooner fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your Mom was a snotty, arrogant jackass and your Dad was a snotty, arrogant jackass, what would you be then?"
"Then" Janie smiled,"We'd be Longhorn fans."
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What does an UT graduate say to an OU grad?....Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?
How do UT grads park in the Handicap parking?
They stick their diploma on the front windshield.
How many UT football players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he gets three credit hours, a new car, and about $5,000 in cash for it.
How do you keep an UT student busy for a month?
Give him a package of M & M's and tell him to alphabetize them.
A UT grad wanted to get in the cattle business so he went out and bought a cow. After about 6 months a buddy asked him how it was going and he said, "I still don't have any calves yet". Another 2 or 3 months pass and the same friend ask again how it was going and he said, "I still don't have any calves yet". The buddy told him he needed a bull.
So the UT grad took his cow to the auction and bought a bull.
A Texas grad is driving home from work when his cell phone rings. He answers and his wife says "honey just wanted to warn you and let you know that I am watching the news and some idiot is driving on the wrong side of the interstate."
The UT grad then replied " honey I am already on my way home, but your wrong it is not one idiot but hundreds of them."
Albert Einstein goes to a party. He introduces himself to a lady and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"
"240," she says.
"Great, we can discuss the mysteries of the universe and other things. We have a lot we can talk about " he replies.
Later he is talking with a man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?"
"145," he replies.
"Great, we can talk about thermodynamics," says Albert.
Later he is talking to another man and says, "Hi, I'm Albert Einstein. What's you're IQ?
"43," the man manages to say.
Einstein gets a puzzled look on his face for a minute then says, "How about them Longhorns?"
Do you know why UT installed artificial turf on their field?
To keep the homecoming queens from grazing on the ground, but now they can't keep the groundskeeper from mowing it.
Posted by Wendell L Scotchpoodle, NOT by The Localmalcontent
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